Alone or A "Lone"....!
"No one is alone during tribulations - there's always someone else thinking, rejoicing or suffering in the same way. This thought gives us strength to face the challenge that lies in front of us"......By Paulo Coelho, from The Zahir!
I have walked alone the lonely streets during rains, and wondered whether its me or the rains carrying forward their loneliness. At times, in cold winter mornings i had blown out the misty air and saw the shapeless fog melt away in ether. Sat at an empty coffee table waiting for a friend, and kept on looking at the street thinking of nothing, until they were empty....and the silence wrapped me again! I wonder is silence only to be perceived in loneliness.
Have always wondered, whether loneliness is an interplay of situations or can it also be a personal choice. The strange thing is, in this fast and modern era, where we have movies depicting loneliness.......the real feeling is quite different. When you are all by yourself, seated in a remote corner of the room or lost in translation with the candle flames on the roof top, you don't have any music playing by as they show in films. Infact, your audience are perhaps the skies, unfinished pages of a diary, an empty coffee mug, an open window, ruffled bed sheets.......and You!
Sadness, i question... does it always accompany us when we are lonely? Perhaps, not. Loneliness at times has its own companion. Fulfillment and self-discovery. Many a times i have tried to race against time and flow against the tide. There were moments where all i just wanted was to hold on....to people, situations, feelings, objects and even Love. A part of me could always see, that this interplay of situations were such, that i was to be detached for a while. It was as if meant to be this way. But the rebel in me fought and said "No". Acceptance was difficult to arrive at. I did not want to be alone. When being a"lone" was all that was needed.
One evening, i was left with nothing but the rains and thunders. My only sport was to play light and shadows with them. Seeking affirmation from every roar of the thunders.....i realized in this uncertain world, a promise or acknowledgment is very dear to us. I was sitting beside the window in my room. The crimson and silver lightning went on. A faint light of thunder kept on striking from behind the tree leaves. I could hardly see it apart from the frequent sparks. Kept on looking at it till the sounds of thunders faded. The sparks carried on for a while and then paled out.....I learnt there is a certain boldness and courage in being a "loner". This small quaint spark was!
I thought in life we can choose our loneliness like this little thunder.....We can choose to be alone or a "lone". A "loner" would always have her little world to walk on and some wonderful signs. I agree sometimes we do need to go through certain afflictions, but then later in retrospect we do have a smile thinking about it isn't it? We realize, we were growing up. Walking on the same lines, you would sure come across a face amidst a huge gathering enjoying the merry making and the cheer that's going on! Watch carefully, into the eyes... the person could be having a secret conversation with God in the midst of it. May be he is in that dream Arcadia...or she trying to camouflage that unnoticed tear! You are never alone. And if you are a "loner" the path would lead to an unknown face, but a known emotion.....Walk on, didn't you always dreamt of that acceptance!!!!
~Shweta~
